What’s your stress signature?

Ever noticed how you react when stress comes knocking on your door? We all have our unique stress signature which is the way we behave and respond when life throws its curveballs. You can broadly put these responses into two categories: overfunctioning and underfunctioning. Knowing your own particular stress signature can help you manage anxiety and stress more effectively, not only for yourself but also for the people around you.

Over-functioning stress

Imagine this: deadlines are looming, life responsibilities are getting out of hand, you’re starting to panic. Your natural instinct is to go into action mode and to take charge - of everything. Your aim is to get control of a situation that feels out of control while also proving your worth and value. Welcome to the world of over-functioning. When you're overfunctioning your brain is releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, making you more alert and energised. It’s the ‘fight’ part of the fight or flight response. While being super-focused and action oriented can help you meet challenges head-on, it often leads to exhaustion, resentment and burnout. It can also strain your relationships as people might feel you're dominating and not giving them space to contribute.

Under-functioning stress

Now imagine the same scenario: work, life, or both, get overwhelming. Here though you feel like retreating into your shell and hiding away. You become indecisive, unable to think, struggle to set boundaries and pray for someone else to fix things. That's what underfunctioning looks like. Your brain is still releasing those stress hormones but instead of making you more alert, they overwhelm your system and make you shut down. This is the ‘flight’ or ‘freeze’ part of the fight or flight response. While this might protect you from further distress in the short term, you're not dealing with your stress effectively and, crucially, the problems that caused it are left unaddressed. Again, it can cause friction in relationships because other people may perceive that you’re lazy or don’t care when the opposite is true - you care so much you’re paralysed. It commonly leads to you also feeling bad about yourself for not taking action, being more capable or doing more, and this self-judgement and criticism only keeps you stuck for longer.

In chapter 6 of my book, be resilient, I talk more about the common signs of over and under functioning and how to spot the different stress signatures.

Tackling Your Stress Signature

The first step in tackling your stress signature is awareness, knowing you’re doing it and communicating that is key. There are also some practical things you can do.

If you're an overfunctioner it's time to take a step back, breathe and learn to collaborate and delegate. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Be kind to yourself and accept that you can't control everything and be kind to others by letting them in. Do some physical activity to release the energy, like going for a run, but also try relaxation techniques like mindfulness, yoga or deep breathing exercises to balance your nervous system. Over-functioners typically find these relaxation activities more challenging and get impatient if they don’t see results straight away, but they are usually the people who need it most.

For the underfunctioners out there, start small. Set achievable goals to build your confidence and learn to assert yourself in challenging situations. Surround yourself with supportive people and engage in activities that make you feel competent and valuable. Ensure you’re taking care of the basics - nutrition, good sleep and movement, so you have fuel in the tank to take action. Practice self-compassion so that instead of criticising yourself you’re supporting yourself.

No matter your stress signature, communication is your friend. Open up to the people around you about how you feel and what you need. This helps create a nurturing environment where everyone can thrive, even when life gets tough. By being open and vulnerable about the stress you’re feeling and showing awareness of the impact it’s having on other people you run less risk of damaging important relationships and getting to better solutions.

So there you have it – understanding your stress signature is the first step in getting a grip on anxiety and stress. Whether you're an overfunctioner or an underfunctioner it's about learning how to deal with stress in a healthier, more sustainable way. Life will always have its ups and downs, but knowing your stress signature and using the tools and philosophies in my book can make the ride a little smoother for you and those around you.